Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
