is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
