He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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