Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
