when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Randomize
