they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
you didnt know i had herpes?
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
