i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
