I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
