then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
