He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
