He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
