I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
