your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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