i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
