I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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