just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
