what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
People with herpes should wear stickers.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
