Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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