He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
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