If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
