She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
