This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
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