I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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