I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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