Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
