bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
