it's not cheating when I paid for it
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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