Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
