in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
