so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
His hands were made for my vagina.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
