Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
