So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
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