it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
How naked do you want me to be?
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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