May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
