Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Randomize
