She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
is wine microwaveable?
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
