I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Found your dick twin last night
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Randomize
