His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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