if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
