You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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