He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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