I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
