I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
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