Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Pants are for mortals
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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