i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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