Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
