im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
