bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Randomize
