I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
