Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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