i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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